


Freedom, Truth Truth, Freedom

by Vangle



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Forests, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8284082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vangle/pseuds/Vangle
Summary: Freedom, Truth, and Love. The three things we seek more than anything. Baz and Simon are all three for each other.





	

**Simon**

I have a job. The Mage gave me a job. It is important for me to help fight for freedom.

**Baz**

I do not get a choice of my actions. I know what I have to do. The Older Families depend on me for this. This matters to me most. I need to find the truth.

**Simon**

The sky above me was an odd color for the sky. It was white. It wasn’t gray nor blue. It was white. The woods were illuminated by day light but I could tell that I was running out of time. The sun will set soon and I will find myself in the middle of the forest at night. Again. The Mage had thrown me into the forest at night before. It is not the darkness that gets to me, but the deceasing chance of success. Right now, how ever, it did not matter. My success did not depend on any skill or knowledge. It was luck. The Mage said a lot of big things about this mission but it only looked like chance.

I am searching for a wood nymph. Not any simple wood nymph. It is common knowledge that somewhere in these woods there is a blind nymph who answers questions. However, she is very picky about who she answers and her methods of answering question is a little unorthodox. The Mage told me about a woman who wanted to find out if her husband really loved her. The nymph told her to go hit her neighbor. She didn’t want to but it drove her obsessed and she attacked her neighbor. The first thing the neighbor asked was how did she find out that they were having sex. Lovely. Penny was really worried about me and gave me some other advice that I think could be more helpful. She told me not to ask about the Humdrum directly. The nymph does not like to answer questions that are not personal. I reached into my pocket and looked over the few ideas for a proper question. They focused on peace, which would affect me so it is personal.

When in doubt, make a list. Since my time away was very brief, I decided to make a list of things that would wait for me when I get back when I succeed. The good and the bad. The good first:

  1. Penny. She will be waiting for me. She will be happy to see me. If I succeed, she will be proud of me.
  2. My bed. I get to sleep in when I get back. Stay in bed an extra hour after waking up just because I can.
  3. Food. I ate before leaving and got a cereal bar in my bag but nothing else. So I shall eat myself asleep.
  4. Ebb. She wanted to see the nymph one day but she never got the chance. She asked me to tell her all about it when I get back.
  5. No Baz. Baz’s family got him out of school for a few days for something important. When I get back, he won’t be there. I won’t have anyone nag me about how long I sleep or how much I eat.



And now for the bad.

  1. Agatha. We broke up. I simply ran away at the opportunity to leave. I felt so wrong after we fought. Maybe we can work things out when I get back after she had some time alone.
  2. Classes. I was very late with all my school work and doing this is not really helping me.
  3. Baz. He will be there. He will find a way to undermine what I did. In one way or another.



Whatever I guess.

**Baz**

The light was fading. Darkness was creeping up. I did not really want to spend the nights in the woods but I do not have a choice. This is my mission above anyone else. The nymph answers any amounts of question and has no problem with answering selfish questions. I walked deeper in the woods. The rules of finding her are vague as the rest of old magic. “When in need, thy be found. When found, nothing needed.” I sneezed, not bothering to cover my mouth. I once I literally kicked Snow in his ass, causing him to trip over, when he did that himself. In my defense, he did it in the direction of my books. The world is a constant set of disappointments for me. My greatest pleasures are a disappointment to me too. My greatest pleasure is Snow. He always disappoints me by being straight and clueless and amazing. How dare he.

I need to stop thinking about him. The seemingly similar trees and moss covered rocks must be slowly driving me insane some how. It is as if I can smell him. A breeze blew in my direction. No, I’m not insane (yet), I can actually smell him. I started walking forward, quietly and quickly. Maybe I was insane because basic logic would have told me that if it is Snow, I should be running in the other direction. I reached a ridge of rocks, standing on top and look down. There he was. The angel and devil in the disguise of one man. Simon.

**Simon**

I felt the hair on my arms raise a little bit. Something was different, I felt it before trouble himself called out to me. “Well well. If it isn’t Simon Snow, on a grand adventure.” I turned side ways but only saw him when I looked up. He stood above me on a ridge of rocks, leaning against a tree trunk. “Baz?! What the fuck are you doing here?!” I felt anger spike inside of me. He looks away from me casually. “Let me guess, Snow. The Mage has sent you to find the nymph, didn’t he?”  
“How do you know that?”  
“Is it not painfully obvious? I mean I have never heard of you having an eccentric hobby that involves ditching school to go hiking in the forest with night time approaching.”  
He stood on the rock ridge for a while to physically and metaphorically look down at me, before jumping down. He is taller than me so he still gets to look down at me. “Well, you are one to talk! You’re here too.”  
“Yes, but I was not sent. I am looking for the nymph and I don’t need someone to do this.”  
“What exactly do you want to find out, huh?”  
“For starters, what have I ever done to deserve such a bastardly moronic roommate?” He snarls at me. “I-uh-just-you... don’t.” He often does this to me. He has a wicked mouth and a cruel tone. I always get too nervous about it. I wish it would stop bothering me so much. I get really nervous and start to stutter. I don’t do well when I get yelled at. Once in the 1st year, he yelled at me so much that I started to cry, really badly. He didn’t see me, I just sobbed my eyes out in the bathroom later. Surprisingly, he never yelled at me like that again. I used to cry so much when I was younger and I hated that so very much.

**Baz**

Self control was very difficult right now. I had caught some large pray earlier and drank quite a lot. When he started to stutter and stumble again, I focused on breathing deeper, trying so hard not to blush. Always Snow. Always fucking Snow. He is a pain in the arse that I cannot do anything about. I can’t help but feel a little lighter now that at least I am not alone in these woods. The endless sea of green was getting to me and the haze was broken by the sight of the flame that is Simon Snow.

“Stop running your mouth, it is getting on my nerves.” That was a lie, my nerves were settling after seeing him. Yet I cannot indulge in this. I turn around and start to walk away with my head held a little higher. “Baz, wait!” I stop and turn around. Maybe I should have done a dramatic pause before turning but I always love it when he calls out to me. “It is almost night time and clearly neither of us are having any luck here. So why don’t we break camp.”  
“We?” I chocked out. “What is with this ‘we’, Snow?”  
“Could you not for just a second?”  
“Not what, Snow?”  
“Absolutely anything that you do. Anything that is cruel and mean. We are both in a forest. It is going to be very dark soon. And you could lie to me and say you have a better plan than me, but I just won’t believe you.”

Sometimes he does occasionally throw out unbelievable lines. “That is where you are wrong, Snow, I certainly do have more of a plan that you do. Unfortunately you are right, what a rare occurrence.” I sigh and rub my forehead. “Follow me.”  
“What huh?”

**Simon**

Baz marched ahead and I chased after him. “What are you talking about?”  
“I’ve set up a temporary camp. I was heading there now. I set up then left to explore into the west direction. Tomorrow I was going to head north. If I was unsuccessful, I would return and go west the next day.” I didn’t want to admit that that was probably much better of a plan than anything I thought of. He walks ahead of me with the distance of 5 large steps. I actually feel kind of good that he is here. I did not want to spend the night alone. He is not the first person I would pick to spend the night with me, but I am used to him. It has been long enough to that I know how he sleeps. One leg raised a little, snuggled into his blanket, nose always out. His nose gets just a little if he slept a little too much, which makes him look much younger. He also yawns like a kitten.

We reach a small camp site, the was a small fire pit set up by a few oddly shaped stones that made a small cave. It was all set by a pond with a small waterfall. The pond was oddly mesmerizing. It was so very clean and pure that you can see the bottom so clearly as if there was no water. “Be useful and get some fire wood.” I didn’t argue because my eyes were focused on the water. There were broken twigs everywhere. I ate my lunch but Baz refused to eat anything in front of me. We did not talk. I didn’t feel like I could say anything.

British weather is never really hard to guess. Rain. Baz and I made shelter under the stones and just fell asleep. It was cold and wet but the smell of nature was just deliciously amazing. Baz’s breathing next to mine was calming. It is not like I would truth him to help me if I was in trouble but I felt safer anyway.

**Baz**

I woke up because I felt like I was smacked by a leafy branch or something. I open my eyes to find Snow fast asleep next to me. I zip up my jumper all the way and get out of shelter looking around. There was nothing in sight.

Snow suddenly sat bolt up when I looked away from him. He looks at me, finding me 10 steps away. “Something just hit me with a branch.” He didn’t question it being me, if it was me, I would have done something a little more creative. He rubs his head and get up. My watch told me that it was 3 am but something felt off. The sky was much brighter with all the stars and full moon out. There was a white trail in the water from the moon. There was also fire flies. It was also much warmer. It was near summer but it felt a little too warm for a night in a forest. Snow walks over to me, clearly sleepy. His ears are a little puffy.

“Have you boys been looking for me?” Simon and I turn spin around and see a wood nymph. Her eyes are jet black with a white circle in the middle. Her hair was curly and going upwards through with branches. Moss grew around her legs and wild flowers acted as a dress. She was twirling a leafy branch in her hand. Even the most powerful nymphs are pranksters in some way or another. We walk up to her and she keeps swinging her legs. “What is it that you wish to learn, boys?”

“I want to know how I can bring peace to people and free them from the Humdrum.” The noble soul. She does not respond but looks at me.  
“I want to know the truth. Of what happened to my mother and who is behind her death.” I was sent with a different task but I really don’t want to find out how to kill Simon. I am unable to. There is no point. I would not do it. I would kill myself before killing Simon.

The nymph looks up and rubs her head.  
“Truth. Freedom.” She clicked her teeth together. “Freedom. Truth.” After a while, she looks down at us. “It is a funny thing. Truth and Freedom. Two of the three most valuable things in the world. It is truth, freedom, and love. Funny thing, isn’t it? Love works against the other two. Love blinds people from the truth and submits them to willing imprisonment. Funny funny.” We keep waiting for her to finish her little monologue. She slips of the rock and walks closer. It is like she is looking through us with her blind eyes.

“Love is quite an interesting thing for both of you.” She gestures to Simon. “You want to be loved, to be care for. A desire of any orphaned child. You want to love. You have a lot inside and you want to smother someone with it. Yet your heart cannot simply decide to love the right person. You are bound by this. You cannot be free until you are loved and loving.” Simon looks very very hurt. It is very visible in his eyes. I could feel my heart sting. I love you, Simon.

**Simon**

“As for you...” She turns her attention to Baz. “Love is your curse. You are in love. Your heart is consumed by love and it has turned into something to slowly burn you alive. Like they are living poison to you. A living flame.” Baz looked like he was slapped across the face and insulted. The misery I felt after hearing her words were immediately replaced by pure shock.

_Baz? In love?_

I felt like the world titled side ways. I would not have believed if someone just told me that. Yet he looks so hurt. Angry, insecure, and frustrated. He was in love and I never noticed. Who could it be? When did it begin? How could I had never noticed this? I feel like I absolutely need to.

“The truth is that you treasure this person more than yourself. Their life matters to you more than it matters to them. Their life matters more than your own.” She smiles so happily even though she practically emotionally destroyed us. “You two are a beautiful example of why freedom and truth are linked with love.”  
“What does this have to do with what we asked?!” Baz lost his patience. I don’t blame him. I cannot even look at him the same way any more. I can’t really explain how I feel about this. It did not matter to me. Or at least it shouldn’t matter to me.

“Young people. So impatient. Both truth and freedom is waiting for you. Both you. Simon.” She focuses her dead eyes on me. “Very slowly, you will discover the truths that will lead you to the freedom you seek. You shall not be free until the Humdrum is gone. Yet if it was gone, you would still be trapped. The path that leads you to freedom is with the help of someone who you will truly love. There is no need to rush. Just keep your heart open for it.” She turns to Baz. “As for you, you have been a prisoner of what happened to your mother and that day. Your love is true and pure. Your path lies with following your heart. Your love may never be returned but if you will follow them, you will find the truth you seek and your freedom. You spent years accepting rejection that you never want to hear. You may not find the truth on your own, as decided by fate.” She leans against the tree and began to merge with it.  
“You can help each other take the first step. The water in the pond behind you has some magic abilities. Those in armor cannot enter. Neither of you can go alone.” She disappears into the tree. There is a long period of silence.

We slowly recover from that and look at each other. “What did she mean by armor?” I ask. I know Baz won’t tell me a word about the person he loves if ask. I try to focus back on the task at hand. “I think I know...” His voice is very low. I react to it as if I have never heard it before.

He approaches the water and starts to dip his hand into it. His hand goes in fine but when it reacher his sleeve, his sleeve would crawl up his arm away from the surface of the water. He pulls out his hand, shacking the water off. “Thought so. Creatures of the woods refer to clothes as armor. It protects humans as a mean of protection from the elements and an emotional buffer.”  
“Emotional buffer?” I asked.  
“Yes. It means that without clothes, humans find it more difficult to lie and keep their feelings hidden. You can argue just fine when you are standing in front of someone perfectly dressed. The situation would be very different if you were standing nude in front of the person.” He pauses, turned away from me completely. “Do you want to do this?” I did not understand what he meant for a while but then it hit me like a bolt of lighting. We have to go in the water together. Clothes are an armor. What the stupid nymph left us with: Go jump naked in the pond together.

I started to try and day something before I could even think of something to say. The result was a lot of incoherent stuttered sounds that sounded like hey were chocked out. Baz refuses to look back at me. I know we have been roommates for years now but we never change in front of each other. I finally got myself to shut up then say. “We must. Don’t we?”

Not another word was said. We turned away from each other and started to strip down. As I was almost nude, I couldn’t help myself and have a little peek. I was going look away right away but I was unable to look away for at least 20 seconds or so.

When I turned around to look at him, his pants and underwear was off and he was pulling of his shirt. He was perfect. I felt as if I was looking at a baroque master piece. His skin was pale and smooth. His legs are long and muscular. I hair fell in loose locks as it got out of the shirts neck. I finally turn away, feeling my heart racing and blood rushing in my cheeks and ears.

**Baz**

I turn back and loose myself for a moment. Snow was completely nude. Moles cover his entire back. His upper back has freckles. He was both a little chubby and muscular to the perfect extent. I just always wanted to lean against those broad shoulders and kiss his neck. They are just so much more defined than I ever imagined them to be. The fucking walking masterpiece. His body reminds me of a Greek marble statue. Hercules was less impressive then Snow. I just want to worship each inch of his body with kisses.

“Enough loitering around here, Snow. I am getting cold.” That is a lie. I am on fire. We walk up to the water and I get nervous about becoming too excited so I swan dive right into the water.

**Simon**

The fucking graceful bastard.

**Baz**

I open my eyes under water and watch Snow dive into the water. Maybe the only reason why this was a thing was because I needed to get over Snow and fall in one with someone else. Get him out of my psychotic system.

I wanted to swim back up. I couldn’t. I did not have my wand. I could no longer move. It was as if the water held me and was pulling me down. I could not breathe. I was drowning. I should have realized that this was a cruel trap.

I never thought I would have such a beautiful view as I was dying.

I closed my eyes, the only thing I could move and sank down. Down. Down. I was always too suicidal to fear death. At that moment, I felt Simon grab me by arm and pull me up to the surface. When my face was out of the water, I gasped for air and started to cough violently. I would have gone under water again if Simon did not pull me so close and held me up. By my waist, chest to chest. Something else was touching too.

“Baz?! What happened down there?” He held on me tightly and I felt so safe. I felt like I was loosing myself. I needed this so much. I put my arms around his neck and allowed him to think it was because I was so weak. I am. I am helpless.

“I couldn’t move. The waters must have been cursed.” I cough again a few times and relax into his touch. The waters changed. They were no longer so cold. On the contrary. They were warm. I felt warm. Simon relaxed too as he held me. His arms were protective over me. I kept mine around him. He is mine to hold.

After a moment, we looked at each other. His eyes were beautiful in the moon light. If I could have one thing in this world right now, it would be a kiss.

I got a kiss.

Simon pressed his lips to mine and we started to kiss. I am truly a selfish bastard. I do what more than just a kiss. We kiss each other with real desperation. I pull on his wet curls and gently rub his neck. His arm rubbed me across my waist and back. Heaven could not beat this.


End file.
